And so it begins.

So I guess this is sort of like the introduction. Having a blog has always seemed to be sort of a strange and ... too self aware (there's a term for this that I can't remember, it's the same as when a book acknowledges the fact that it's a book...Karel was no help either - see? My English major is worthless!)

Anyway, the point is, that I think my purpose in starting this, aside from encouraging dialogue among my vast and varied group of amigos is a kind of forced honesty in a public domain. Even though a journal is traditionally written for purposes only concerning the writer, this is a journal that is written with the intentions of sharing it with other people. Which is still a bit of an odd concept for me.

Ok, well since I really have no transition, I'm just going to start :).

Yesterday, I was in Borders, kind of just wandering around. I happened to pick up a copy of a book that I thought would be funny/interesting to flip through. It was called "Why Men Love Bitches." I'm not even exactly sure where to start. I guess the first thing is that I totally disagreed with the author's definition of a bitch. The dichotomy that was used to define the word was that girls fall into two categories: bitch and doormat. This. Doesn't seem right to me somehow.

Next, the author proceeds to give snippets of potential conversation from both camps of females. And which would be better when trying to attract a mate. The book gives all sorts of dreadful advice: it talks about how to feign having a life outside of having a boyfriend because that will make him want you more (because why else would a woman have a life aside from using it as collateral in a romantic relationship?) It talks about how women should voice an opinion because men automatically assume that feisty women will be good in bed. It then goes on to completely contradict that tactic - there is an entire chapter explaining the "dumb fox" complex and how women should pretend to be stupid around their boyfriends and husbands because that will make the male feel more powerful. AND - EVEN FURTHER - it gives specific examples of what women should do to let "their men" protect them. I.e: pretend to be incapable of killing bugs, never change a tire around him, let him pump your gas.

This book was written in 2006. And worse still, it was written by a woman. I'm not sure if I actually need to explain what is wrong with all of this, but I'm going to at least give it a shot.

First and foremost, there is and cannot be any GUIDE to tell you how to "capture and keep" a man. Relationships are all different, and this game-playing, fake facade that the book designs for women to put on isn't even attractive, in my opinion. It's like a secret playbook. This is why so many girls act like such nitwits. This relationship propaganda encourages obsessive analysis of relationships and each person's role in it. It shouldn't be this hard. If it is, you're with the wrong person.

This is all, of course, completely ignoring the outdated themes concerning a "weaker sex" and needing a man to protect the woman and all that. That part is obvious...I think.

In my view, relationships can't be about a power struggle. In a lot of cases, they are. She plays hard to get, he chases. She decides she loves him and falls all over him and he backs away. It's a mess. But rather than fix these issues, these books only encourage and catalyze the situation. Inherently, men are NOT that different than women. It is ridiculous to pretend that all women can attract any man by following a formula.

I think the worst part of the book for me, however, is that it kind of traps you. The book starts off as very flippant and humorous - there are funny anecdotes, none of the suggestions are too severe. But as you progress, the book gets more and more horrifying to digest. And by the time I got to the end, I couldn't believe that I had even remotely agreed with anything this woman had to say. I felt tricked and betrayed by my own attitudes and ability to fall in line with what I was reading.

Needless to say. I don't recommend it.